Society’s flawed body wisdom

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Hello Villagers, here is a question I asked myself today after being told “I was pregnant” & when I said no to which someone replied: “Oh, yes, yes you are!” ..Seriously? & here is my long over thought answer.

Question: When did it become socially acceptable to ask another person if they’re “pregnant”?

Short answer: Never

Long answer: Alright Ladies, this is the terrible question we do NOT under any circumstances want to ever be asked in our lives. To be perfectly honest I find it plain rude & devaluing; I won’t lie it was an elderly woman, and I’ve been asked twice now by someone of wisdom if I was pregnant or they have commented casually on my weight, & when I discuss this with someone the answer is usually get is “It’s just because they’re old” well world like it or not I DO NOT agree with that answer.

At what age in time did we tell ourselves it was okay to causally comment on someone’s weight whether they’re too thin or to fat or just too? Because that’s basically what someone is saying when they ask if someone’s pregnant; it translates to “you’re a chunker”.

I have had self-esteem issues my whole life, & let me tell you it takes a lot of time and effort & self-coaching to “Delete” that feeling of self-loathing & body obsession…mine obviously isn’t fully deleted I have some terrible memories drilled into my head I wish I could beam out but I can’t instead I just tell myself to use these memories & become a better version of myself & not let the world weight me down & then some days I feel like the world has dropped a brick through my glass window mind, & I feel 14 again. I just want to pick up the brick and throw it right back! I get so infuriated that society has taught us it’s okay to make each other feel devalued. I used to have days where I said to myself “Why not just take that self-esteem and throw it away? I have none anyways” I am far away from that person now, But it’s easy to let her back in; Especially when I get a curve ball thrown at me like “are you expecting?”

All I can say to make my long answer short is whatever age you are please be aware words do, and always will hurt. Something you say can affect someone’s whole day, even whole life. & yes it’s up to us what we do with what someone says to us, but it can still hurt & stick with us, we are emotional beings. & do yourself a favor, unless you know the person & know they’re trying to conceive do not under any circumstance ask if they’re expecting.

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Chapter Teaser

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Hello Villagers,

I got a little sidetracked and ended up starting another chapter because all these idea’s began flowing like rushing current. below is an example of one of my chapters. Again I would enjoy some feedback.

Julia shivered as the crisp air massaged the back of her neck, finding her way to the beach; she kicked off her flip flops and sank her feet into the ice cold water. Holding her breath, her hand’s shivered. She pushed out the air from her lungs, quivering with each release, and began walking deeper into the water. She felt alive for the first time in a long time, she missed the ocean. She and Sean vacationed to The Hampton’s every summer to get away, and be inspired. She was an artist; a painter. The ocean was where something buried inside her came to life. Staring out and down at the water, she was now waist deep. Her limbs numb not noticing the biting temperature of the water anymore. Breathing in, the smell of salt and brine tickled the inside of her nose; she could taste the salt at the tip of her tongue with hints of sea weed. Listening to the low waves pushing onto the beach, she wiggled her toes deep into the sand feeling the grains dancing around her legs.

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NaNoWriMo

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Hello Villagers,

I wanted to announce that I’ve decided to take the challenge of NaNoWriMo
“National Novel Writing Month” Basically it starts in November, and I write a novel in a month!( I encourage all to check it out, its free) writers are allowed to start now, and I need to average at least 1000 or more words a day! isn’t that insane?
Below is a Teaser of my Prologue(which could change, like I said a teaser) its about 488 words, and I have chapter One started that a little over 1000! Honestly I have no title for my book-to-be yet, it will be a surprise, also I would love some feedback on this teaser I posted. Thanks a Million Villagers!

Julia Montgomery has hidden away, in a small town in Connecticut by the name of Britter Cover. Hiding from family and friends telling no one where she has gone; hoping that someday her heart will be mended from her tragic lost love.
Once a strong successful women Julia has now found herself alone filled with grief bartending in this small town and filled with the memory of the last time she held Sean’s hand as he closed his eyes , and his body became lifeless on that hospital bed. Battered and bruised inside and out, Julia was in shock unable to accept she would never see her fiancés face again, feel his touch, or hear his whispers in her ear, so she ran.
She never forgave herself she thought it was her fault, they should have stayed home that night, the rain was too heavy and the roads were too dark. Julia had just received a call from the bank approving her and Sean for a loan for small space her and Sean had their eye on for her art gallery, Sean insisted on taking her out that night to celebrate but It all happened so fast, Sean couldn’t see that deer standing in the middle of the road, the car rolled and everything went silent in slow motion she could hear Sean scream echoing in the darkness, his green eyes lit up reflecting off the review mirror, pupils completely dilated and then it was black.
Waking up confused, in a hospital bed she screamed out for Sean. Looking her left there he was lifeless; eyes closed his chest slowly rising but no other movement. She screamed his name rising from her bed, shaking; stiff and battered she ripped out her IV as doctors and nurses rushed into the room holding her back as she reached out for him, trying to push them away she was too weak, yelling, and sobbing she felt pressure swell to her head, again everything went black.
This time waking up, through her groggy eyes she could see a women, and feel a slight grip on her hands, it was her sister, Emily; sobbing, and preying under her breathe. Julia let out a sigh every muscle on her body ached; her sister sprang to life, calling the doctors in again.
It was all a blur, her sister was still sobbing, the doctors, and nurses where talking to fast, their voices fading in and out. She looked to her left calling for Sean, but all she could see was a blurred lifeless shadow, motionless through the curtain. She looked at her sister feeling dizzy, tears running down her face from her swollen eyes, rippling over her lips like small waterfalls, everything went silent focusing on her sister bleak face she squeezed her hand, leaning in she whispered in her ear “he’s gone, I’m so sorry, he’s gone” … it echoed in the whole room “he’s gone”. Julia couldn’t breathe.

By T.Carrier
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Let Me In

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Beating, hammering, thrashing, pounding Beating, hammering, thrashing, pounding
Enough, enough, please, you whispered, you shivered; enough
the words didn’t sing from your mouth
there was no music in your voice
your  words sounded, no they didn’t sound they were soundless
weak, fragile
eyes, swollen with tears
falling heavy like rain fall
sounding like a snowflakes hitting the sidewalk
again soundless
If you are not looking for me, you can’t find me
let me in
you are soundless and lost
I am heavy, yet I am so light; see through
looking right at me, you can’t see me, you won’t see me
see-through; let me in
hold me tight
can’t you feel me?
I am lost, I am you, I am yours
don’t you understand?
Close your swollen, soundless eyes
Take a deep soundless breath
let me in
like a hammer to a nail, force me in
Beating, hammering, thrashing, pounding
Beating, hammering, thrashing, pounding
I want to get in
hear me, find me, feel me, hold me
keep me, and give me away
I am love
let me in
You are loved, Let me in
By. T.C
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Frenzy Fall

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Hello, Villagers1380017_10151977298080030_494682580_n

I’ve posted the photo of myself above, not to be self-indulgent as if to say “look at me” Honestly there’s not much to look at besides the fact I just cut of at least 12 inches of hair! I feel lighter, as if i could float away? No, no, ha; but It’s a change I thought I would share.

Anyways, Fall as always has been beautiful, and inspiring I love sweater weather, but on that topic, I really need some new sweaters! ha ha. I’ve been thinking about writing excessively, but honestly, haven’t been doing any. I would love to share something about my ” book?:” But I can’t, I have not wrote a word to share, and I have misplaces the USB drive I kept my writing on during our move; How frustrating, right? Maybe it’s a sign to start over I wasn’t really sure where I was going with my writings, it just felt like jumbles of word vomit that was spiraling into a wall; villagers have you ever felt that way? what are some tips to get out of that “vomit-funk”?
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I do call this blog, the cat shack, here’s one of my kitty’s, this is mister Sam, can’t you get lost in those golden orange eyes?
I’ve been trying to lose weight and have been doing pilates, and yoga he always loves to join in! I have a long way to go, I injured my Achilles tendon (and I just joined the gym) again, fustrating, so I can do some basic yoga and Pilates and a medium paced walking it okay, but no big cardio that I’ve been hoping for!

Any who, Namaste villagers, and YES it’s thanksgiving weekend here in O’Canada! Happy thanksgiving, I’m thankful for being a part of this beautiful world, my family, my friends, and my love David.

Here is a photo of mine and Mr. Daves Feast! (now you know why he loves me)
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To Dream

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I close my eyes and I’m running
I’m fast, I’m focused, I’m alone
I Stop

Breathing heavy sweat dripping down my face
I take a deep breath, and I’m swimming
I’m relaxed surrounded by waves diving deeper
I’m alone
I Stop

I open my eyes and they sting
the salt water makes my skin feel heavy and tight
I hug into myself, rubbing my arms, they feel rough and dry

I take a deep breath and I’m cycling
fast, slow, fast, slow
I feel my calf’s burning, my breath tiring
but this time I don’t stop
I keep pedaling
where am I going?
The forest is surrounding me
I pedal faster
its closing fast, everything’s a blur
I need to go faster
I stop

why am I stopping?
The forest is moving
I feel claustrophobic
I need to move; I can’t
I need to run; I can’t
I want to scream; I can’t
I have no voice
I’m scared
I close my eyes, take a deep breath
and I’m home

By: T.C.
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